My name is Mai, and I’m the living proof that you are never too old to follow your dream. You are never too stuck to get unstuck.
Everyday is the perfect day to begin again
Throughout my almost 30 years of being on earth, I have learned that, as much as you can try to plan your life, truth is, you have absolutely no idea what’s the next 5, 10 or 15 years have in store for you.
Where you will be?
Who you will be?
And that’s perfectly okay. That’s the most exciting part about living, about the unknown. As the great poet William Ernest Henley has said
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul”
As the first day of the year in Vietnamese calendar starts today, I want to show you where have my ship had sailed through.
I was an excellent child, a very smart, bright kids. I started my first year at elementary school by taking the entrance exam with the result of 30/30 and immediately choose to be “Head of Class” . The following year, I joined the exam for the gifted child and won the first price
It’s in this first competition, they asked who do you want to become in the future. For some reason, at that age, they only options that pop up in my head are: “Teachers” & “Doctors” . I remembered vividly, at 7 year old, not by parents’ choice, I chose to become a doctor.
After this award, that was my goal. I was set to become a doctor. The only question that stayed in my mind is, which kind of doctor do I want to become?
Following this is the 10 years studying, many exams from city / nationals. By the age of 11, I already knew that there are 3 subjects that I need to master: ” Biology / Chemistry / Mathematics” . I loved math, I’m in awe with biology but I hated Chemistry. During junior highschool, I developed other interest in Physics and Computing.
My vision was clear, so I sticked to the thing that I don’t love. I also find extra time to do the thing I love which is physics and computing.
By the time I was 18, one morning, my father called me and he said: ” I’ve been thinking and I think you shouldn’t be a doctor, it’s such a hard job “. I told him : ” Ủa sao ba nói kỳ vậy, đó giờ con nói con học bác sĩ mà. Thôi con vẫn đi thi coi sao ” . I rejected the idea at first, but it’s the start of my wonders: ” why would I love to be a doctor? I have no passion in saving lives. I have no passion in cure any disease” . The morning the following week, I decided, yeah I won’t be a doctor.
That’s it, my 10 year plan vanished in one morning.
By the time University was over, that big green button that says start life was there and I ran over like everyone else and I pressed it and Buckled up and go. Everything follows was just accidental.
I started my first business opening a convenience store in University by a professor asking me to join. I shut this down after 5 years
I started my first job working at an advertising agency by a job posting by my friends. I came to the office without knowing what kind of job I was applying for
I moved on to the second job also at an ad agency by a friend’s invite.
I started my second business opening an ad agency and shut it down after 1 year.
I left for Denmark for a year. Leaving nothing behind just because nothing speaks to me. I left to find my dream. I thought I did. It was Non-profit sector.
I came back to Saigon while waiting for the University opening for admission. I found my third job at and online ad agency also by a friend’s referral.
From this, I started my third business in Vacation Rentals.
Just 2 years ago, my life is very much different from what I am today. I had multiple listings that opened across countries. I was very successful in my field and quite well-known. I had a small office with 10 staffs. I taught people to start a business, even flew to Ha Noi start a hosting group. One of my house was even chose to become an office model for Airbnb in San Francisco. I was approached by 2 investors, I was told to clean up my business so that it’ll be easy to calculate how much my business is worth. First round of investment offered was 1 million USD. I had a solid relationship with a person who can also help me build an empire if I want to.
Guess what! I didn’t follow through.
Having all that “exciting life moving forward”. I was happy until.. I wasn’t. Behind closed door, I started asking question: ” Is that it? Is it what I’m gonna do with my life? Running multiple Rentals? “. I talked to my friend, and talked to more friends. Noone can explain to me that why I am unable to feel content and refuse to move forward when nothing is wrong.
One of my friend even make me feel guilty for not being in love with my life. He said I was too spoiled. I had it all, I don’t have to work to have a house, I don’t have to work to have a car. And now I’m about to extend my business on a massive scale. And I’m Unhappy ?
I spent hours watching Ted Talk, reading self-help book, reading mantra, meditating just to figure out why. On one of the million video I watched, it discussed about your gut is your second brain, not in a conscious way, but in a biology way. On the other video, one Doctor said inside your gut, there’s a light, a pilot light. If you do what you love, the light lights up your entire body from head to toe. If you do what’s not right by you, the light dims till it turns off.
At the beginning of 2018, on January 28th to be precise I started my journey. I wanted to find out my true calling. “Mục đích của con đến với Trái Đất này là gì” . I started seriously going to Therapy, where my therapist has taught me how to connect with my “inner wisdom” , which I guessed another name for “Pilot Light” . It took me around 5 months to be fully connected. For the first time, I feel like I’m doing what I really want.
Instead of advancing my business, I slowly shutdown my business. I moved away to a land that I loved. I live the life that I want.
I realize that all these years, I was trying to be “successful” but not in my term. It was my parents’ term. Growing up, they kept telling me that I will become very rich, with my ability, I can flourish the family’s assets. Well, I did make a lot of money, but I also spent a lot. It was the hope that they have for me. I was living the life that my parents’ want.
Well, I was living 2 lives at the same time. Just like back then when I chose to study physics while continuing with chemistry. On one hand, I travelled the world, simple, empty handed. On the other hand I was running a business that was blooming. I was struggling to between the 2 so much that the constant worry is my existential crisis. I feel like I was torn apart. Not sure what I love, and do something that I do not love.
Instead of being the captain of my own ship, I have tried to fit the other’s mold and expectations for the better part of my life. Instead of defining myself by the quality of my character and the capacity of my heart, I was using titles and accomplishment and Money.
All of the sudden, living in Hoi An, my view of success started to change. It wasn’t the multi million dollar business, or billions in my bank account that I was striving for. Funny enough, I have realized it a very long time ago. Around 23 year old when I first make my 100 million VND, I have told myself that even if I have 100 billion now, I still live the same way I live. There’s nothing more that I want, money is just a number I see in my bank account. Yet, I still want to make billions following my parents.
These days, my biggest success comes from a day where I just let myself be me, where I can silence those voices in my head ( and from my mother) that tell you that you can’t , you shouldn’t. My success comes from a day where I can use my fear as an opportunity to learn about myself.
I have decided that my next step is embarking on the culinary journey. I don’t know that being a chef is my destination of simply a detour on my journey. I might end up going straight back to another school. But it doesn’t matter, doesn’t matter what my title is, my job is. What matters is I know who I am as a person.
I had spend the last 12 months going on a journey. This journey has helped me to unbecoming what I wasn’t so I could be who I was meant to be. I’m turning 30 in a month, and this journey surprised me more than ever. I had no idea that the decision of January 28th last year to change my life would actually CHANGE MY LIFE.
I’m excited for what’s next to come.