In spite of the fact that birthday is never a big day in my family, I don’t know how and when it became important to me. For as long as I can remember, my birthday has always been a very important day for me. Well, we never celebrate anything in our family except Tet. My Dad when he remember, he will give me money to go out on my own, buying the things that I want. Probably around 10 million or 20 million. To his defense, he said that he didn’t know what to buy for me and I will probably don’t like what he bought. I understand my parent’s point of view. But in another way, part of it is because they are not mindful about my life in general, they don’t want to spend the effort to ask me what do I wish for. Another reason is also because I don’t share with them. 

So for as early as I can remember, I celebrated my birthday on my own, buying my own present and always with a cake 🙂 

One small reason for me to choose to become a pastry chef is so that I can make my own birthday cake. By the age of 18, when I earned my first salary which is 5 million / month, I told myself that once a year, I would spoil me to the max level. I would buy something that I want but kept reluctant because it’s just so adsurb. These presents still stay with me till today. For example: 

• My fancy giant Teddy Bear that is so expensive and so beautiful, at least for me at the time. I recalled my ex at the time learned my wish, and bought me a cheaper version. I had to bring up a whole show about how I love it, then secretly go and buy the one that I actually want. Though I was touched by his acts, but it’s not what I want. 
• The first luxury bag. My parents are in no way accepting any kind of fancy bags. So I didn’t touch my salary for half a year, which brings to a lump sum of 30 million and there goes my first fancy bag. 
• Sometimes it’s small too, something silly like a pair of earrings, or on my 20th, a key necklace that I specifically asked Dad to give me follow the Australian traditions. 

Then my birthday turned into a lot of party and booze, maybe 3 parties in a row, maybe 1 big one. There’s a year that I even created a theme for it. It was “Superman” . I had a flyer designed for it ( well I was working at the ad agency at that time). With the whole email and RSVP thing. A teppanyaki dinner, following by fancy sky bar drinks and then end up with lots of champagne. 

My motto of life was and still now is: I want to be able to spoil myself. My Dad and Mom has brought me to this world, spoil me, giving me the best possible conditions that they could give, educating me, letting me study at the best schools possible, letting me learn anything I want no question asked. And for that, I want to say thank you to my Dad and my Mom by becoming a person that can and will to spoil herself till the end of time, to continue my curiosity and won’t stop learning. 

The thing about experience is very interesting. It never stops, it’s a flow. You think by the time you have this, you will be satisfied but no, it’s always continue. They same goes with my birthday party. I thought that as I earn more money, I can throw much bigger party, I will be happy. I can spoil myself and do exactly what I want. 

That last “Superman” theme party is the last birthday party that I ever thrown. I didn’t realize it was 7 year ago. I recalled that night, coming home after being completely wasted, I felt empty. The big huge party was with the people I love, but how does that makes any different than the everyday drink with the same people. 

So on my 24th birthday, I decided that this will be the last party that I will throw. The alcohol doesn’t make me any more happy than any other day. I don’t like to be the center of attention. I never want to be the center of attention. In fact, I felt more uncomfortable on that day than any other day. 

The next morning after that birthday, I stumbled upon this quote 

Once a year, go somewhere you have never been to

There goes my birthday for the next 7 years. Once a year, I will go somewhere new, for myself. Enriching my experience. Fulfilling my souls. Living with my inner child. Buying myself a present, a cake and a candle. 

And I have never been happier every year since.