Bangkok Semi-Lockdown day 1 for Mai

I arrived in Bangkok today in the afternoon. I seem to not be able to shake the sadness out of me. I seem to get sadder everyday goes by. I was sitting on the car on the way back from Suvarnabhumi and I was lost somewhere in a very dark place through the music, I didn’t know how long, where and when the car arrived at the building. It was just dark and emptiness.

It’s been 3 days, I still feel shattered and to be honest, I don’t even feel like picking up the pieces. Almost like, I just want to bury it own, pretend nothing has happened.

Sometimes sadness does not have a source. There is no immediate solutions, no escape plan from its clutches. Instead, I learn to coincide, as thought sadness is an old friend who needs a gentle nudge in the right direction.

I am sorry that we are in different cities and countries
I am sorry for that time I wasn’t able to see through your aching words
We are breaking the whole world’s heart, all these lonely nights without each other
Or maybe the world is slowly breaking us
I’m sorry for all the days we’ve spent separately
I’m sorry for all the time we cannot make up
I’m sorry for being caught up in all your loneliness

Truth is,
I just wanted a place to stay
And
I’m tired of being sorry.