Dream 1: In Love
Dream 2: Dad and Grandma
Dream 3: Giving Birth

This dream happens this morning so the memory is a bit more vivid. When I started writing this last dream, I’m pretty sure the information I’m writing down is real. It really does happen, because I usually ran out of idea when I finished a post. Today I wrote a total of 4 posts, this does not happen when I created material. These materials already happened and exist inside me. All I need to do is to take the time to write this down.

This dream was particularly vivid. There’s one point, the conversation that I’m having inside the dream, I talked it out loud, and when I talked out loud, I opened my eyes with full memory.

Here’s what happened.

I moved out of the house, living in the attic of Great-grandma house. This house brings a lot of happy memory to me. My childhood friend- cousin was living there, I spent the time talking to great-grandma, I guess this is where my inner child feel most comfortable. So I guess this is where the adult version of me living in.

It happened as how it has been going on. I was talking to my aunt about something, and somehow my aunt told me that my mother is yet bad mouth about me. I was not angry, I thought that it was usual that my mother bad mouth about me. But when I got home, back to the attic in great-grandma house, I decided that this time has to change. I need to talk straight and direct with my mother.

So I called and invited her over, my sister is with her. It’s the same setting, whenever my mother attack me, my sister is always silent, sitting on the side. This time the role reverse between my mother and I, she was explaining why she talked and what she talked about. I couldn’t remember her exact word, but I remembered mine:

• Thôi mẹ đừng nói nữa. Con nghĩ là đã đến lúc mình cần phải nói chuyện với nhau. Con nghĩ là mẹ nên ngưng sống giả dối, và đừng biện hộ cho hành vi của mình nữa. Mẹ nói xấu con là rõ ràng ai cũng biết, thì mình chấp nhận là như vậy. Chứ có gì đâu mà phải nói vòng vo. Mình nên nhìn thẳng vào sự thật và chấp nhận nói. Con cảm thấy không có gì mà phải diễn kịch cả. Con cũng dọn ra khỏi nhà rồi, mình không cần phải diễn kịch với nhau là gì nữa đâu mẹ ơi

The very last part, it was so real and so vivid that I talked out loud couple words (while dreaming) the noise I made woke me up right in the middle of the dream. I woke up feeling satisfied and accomplished. I finally can talk straight and direct to my mother. I feel like I can be ready to talk to her without fear.

In this dream, I don’t have to struggle to prove myself worth to the external source. It’s more like I’m fighting within myself to find the courage to fight. And I did, I found it and made it happen.

I’m proud of you, Mai. I love you dearly.