It’s been 5 days and I haven’t written anything on this blog. That is a very long time. 5 days has passed but for me it’s like 5 minutes, I cannot even recalled what has happened in the last 5 days.

Let see, I miss Camel, a lot! I was taking a shower this morning, and thinking to myself: Missing you comes in wave, and this weeks I’m drowning. I told you that I felt Camel really far away awhile ago right. But this weeks, he’s constantly on my mind. It’s like I just want to miss him. I have come to the conclusion that I will just let everything be 🙂 . If I miss Camel, it’s great. If I’m not missing Camel, it’s also great. I’m at peace with my feelings. I have decided that I will miss Camel until I won’t anymore.

I met my therapist on Tuesday, we took the time telling her all about all my stories. One of which was my emotional feeling, there’s an old guy died in my building. I saw him lied there, on the bed, people started dressing up for him. And I thought to myself why do we have to do all of this ritual? Why do we have to do all the rituals?

I then watched a video about how people are being burned in India, he said that he needs to burn 120 bodies a day, it’s like the quota. Like I need to produce 600 pints of ice cream per days, it’s just pure work.

It seem to me, I cannot empathize with the world, I can only empathize with the people I saw. Like for example, we have been working like there’s no tomorrow in the past 5 days. I made the decision to close the store, create a party, and close the store half day again so everyone can take the day off. I feel so bad that everyone needs to work really hard.

I told my therapist that Camel plays an important role, and still is in my head. It seems like I can always hear his voice, when I do this and that. Even when I’m in shower, the first thought in the morning is about him. What makes this person becomes so important to me, like really really important.

Oh back to my work in the last 5 days. It’s crazy. I repeat, it’s pretty crazy! I went home at 3 AM on Wednesday night, and dead half day on Thursday. I’m still recovering today. My production is so busy that I need to prepare a production plan. This is extreme workload, because this much of work needs more time and human resource.

I has been delivered 1000- 1500 pints of ice cream every 4 days to Ha Noi. I’m tired. When will this end?

Beside that, the people in Ha Noi is crazy “dữ” . I just finished chatting with an “upset” client and I can’t even begin to tell you how it drained the life out of me. If I were to live in Ha Noi, and deal with this everyday, I will die within a week. I will not have the will to live anymore.

The people in Ha Noi is so aggressive, so mean, so unreasonable and so disrespectful. I must have been the luckiest person in the world that all of my Ha Noi friend is so nice, so gentle, Camel is so so nice, soft and gentle.

But the world out there in Ha Noi is a blood bath, where we has to shout to stay alive.

I once thought of living in Ha Noi to work for NGO just to experience. After selling and “talking ” to the people in Ha Noi for just 21 days, I am 10,000% sure that I will never ever live there. I will just die from all the monster yelling at me. I cannot yell back, and I will just die. This is my mother’s * 10 . I cannot even stand 1 mother, if there’s 10,000,000 mothers. Phew ! This is my worst nightmare. Of all the cities that I have been in the world, Ha Noi seems to be the scariest one.

I’m tired, really tired, really really tired.

And I miss you, anh, a lot. I don’t know why, but I really miss you.