Let see, I’ve been in the lock down situation since last year for the total of 3 cities: San Kamphaeng, Bangkok and Saigon

So sorry that I haven’t been able to keep up on this blog, truth is I wanted to write everyday. Every night, I went back home but my eyes just can’t find a way to be opened. I promised myself that I will write in the morning, and then in the morning, I could only use my energy for waking up and taking showers to go to work.

Saigon has been in lock down for the total of 3 weeks, and to be honest with you, it’s almost the same as no lock down for me. I still do the same, go to work, go home. Ah, it’s different for me, I have to work much much harder. I work really hard everyday, I was driving home yesterday and thinking to myself, in essence, I am truly a workaholic. I have the urge to create the perfect product for the perfect guest and recipe.

Back when I’m in San Kamphaeng, the lock down truly affects me. My life suddenly got shut down, plus at that time, Camel was off for couple days. I remember feeling so helpless, so alone and so frustrated at the same time. I’m frustrated because I’m stranded in a place where I cannot move anywhere. I wanted to go back to quickly to see him. I called Camel “my partner ” at that time in this blog.

Fast forward a year, Camel is Camel, not my partner, not my boyfriend, not my friend. Camel is just Camel, I’m not so sure what is his position in my life, but he’s someone. Somebody I thought of talking to everyday, somebody I thought of calling when I’m in distress of moving in the middle of the night, somebody I want to call, but afraid to call. Somebody I thought of when I have nice food. You know, somebody important.

I wrote a few piece on this topic on each city where I’ve been to. Re-reading those things I realize I was living with my emotions, and these days I’m not. I have shut down the emotion side and my mind was just work work work. You know beside the dream that Camel randomly walk in, there are days I dreamed that I was actually at work, and we were discussing the recipe and I need to add a bit of flavour into the strawberry sauce. It’s so true and so real that the next day when I’m making the ice cream. I brought the message in the dream and brought it to work, make it a Deja vu.

This lockdown, my Bliss has seen a tremendous growth. We are processing exactly 1000 liter of milk every week. We are expanding and hiring 10 more people just in the last month. For the first time, Bliss is almost debt free, I only have about 100 million more to pay for 1 supplier, and then we don’t have any debt to the supplier anymore.

My brain hasn’t been paying attention anywhere else except Bliss which makes my life a bit miserable I think. Suddenly my mind becomes so tight, I don’t have any more space to make poetry, to write, to think, to contemplate. Camel told me : ” Không thể cố mãi được đâu”. You know, it’s so true, I absolutely agree with this statement, I don’t know when I’m gonna be broken actually.

So today, I decided that I will stay home till 2PM, so that I have some rest, write something on this blog to clean my thoughts out. It’s not enough, but it’s something. I’m still hasn’t really recovered yet, but it’s something.

Oh and I miss Camel, dearly.