Over a lifetime, all of us change to an extraordinary degree. From a physical degree, I started off as a little bundle (of joy) about 50 cm high, 3 kgs with soft skin, good smell and a smile on my face. Then about 60 year later ( when I’m hopefully finished my life time) as a stooped, gray, liver-spotted 160 cm high structure with crooked smile 😀 . In the intervening period, every single cell in my body will have been replaced, over and over again.

I carried the same name throughout my life, well, I have had different names but I know what my main main name is. I walked through life consider myself as a relatively complete package, but is it really right to think of myself as the same person? I cannot recall what a 5 year old me most treasured about, or I cannot imagine myself going out dancing every day like I used to be at 22 year old.

So, in what ways could I be said to be continuous throughout my time? What does guarantee that I can plausibly think of myself as the same person over my lifetime? Just where is my personal identity located?

A standard assumption is that my body = my personal identity. That means a key part of what makes me “me” is that I’m housed in an identical body. But is it really true?

Imagine if I lost all I hair. Would I still be me? Yes, sure.
What if I lost my arms and legs. Would I still be me? of course yes.

So what if there’s Satan arrived at my door in an hour at 11:00 PM today, and tell me that I need to lose all of my body part and could just keep one bit. What bit could it be? I struggle between my heart and my brains. I seems like I value my heart even more than my brain as if the heart could think. Let say I’d go with my brain. That means, I assume that some bits of my bodies are more me”ish”, closer to the core of personal identity like other ( belly buttons for example ha ! ) , and the most me ish of all the bits are my brains ( and maybe I’d beg for my heart as well) .

Imagine I’m a bed with a lover and asked the question “What do you really like about me? ” . I’d be automatically offended if the answer is my fabulous breast for example.

It seems like I want to be loved for something closer to my real self. Perhaps the good answer would be My soul, or my brain.

Let’s go a bit further, let say I bump my head and lose the ability to make ice cream. Would I still be me? I’d say yes, sure.

What if I suddenly cannot write in English, or forgot how to drive a car. Would I be then me? Yes.

So my technical capacities don’t necessarily close to the core of my personal identity.

What about other kinds of memories? A bit of what me “me” is my ability to store my stories.

I remember how my father taught me that his grandad taught him that :
Sống trên đời cái gì cũng phải liễu liễu thôi.

Or my trip to the Nepal with Camel in that lovely stop in Chomchomrong that sometimes when I meditate and the guide told me to think of a beautiful garden, it kept bringing me back to chomchomrong overlooking the mountains, having a beer with Camel. Or the weather when I was living Denmark and I could cough non-stop because of winter time.

What if my memories all vanished as well? Could I still be me? I’d say, yes, possibly. So long as something else remained and that thing we can call my character. If my characteristic way of responding to situations, my sense of what is funny, wise, interesting or important remained the same. I’d be stubborn, fearless, always with the smile on my face. I can still, in some fundamental way, claim to be the same person.

My memory store of feelings and behaviors might be gone, but I could be assured of continuing to feel and behave in compatible ways in the future.

If I lose all my memories, and met Camel again for the first time. There’s a possible chance that I will still fall in love with him.

So personal identity has nothing to do with my body, or my experiences. I could be put in somebody else’s body, or live in a jar and still be me. This is what they called ” Sameness of consciousness”

If Satan arrived at my door again and ask me to choose between: ” keeping all my memories but behaving differently” or ” losing all my memories but I can still continue to feel and value the same” . I obviously would choose the latter.

So What is consist of Mai, what makes Mai “Mai” consists of 3 things
– Values
– Inclination
– Temperament

I can state my values :
– Freedom – Curiosity – Kindness – Authenticity
I’m a phlegmatic and somewhat sanguine when we talk about temperament.
I’m not sure about inclination, perhaps a risk taker?

I’m writing this down, so that if Satan arrives at my door steps tonight and put me in a jar, you know how to find me 🙂

For all that reason, I’m not afraid of death. I think that my body is a temporary resting place of a set of ideas and values that exist far longer that my aching body.

The other day when the teacher tell the class about the concept of ” Memento Mori” , “Ai rồi cũng phải chết” and told us to face ” the fear of death”. I can tell with confident that I have no fear of death. In fact when I close my eyes, I saw a spaceship, that will take me going back to my planet, sort of like coming home feeling. So instead of being afraid of death, I was looking forward to it. 🙂