I’m such an emotional beings! I truly am an emotional beings!

That’s what I thought to myself this morning when re-reading my blog post. I need to be able to express my emotions first before I can think. Lucky I have this website to verbalize my feelings.

I was such a bitch, a condescending woman who thinks she has the rights to judge everyone. In a way, I’m no better than any of the Vietnamese woman out there, entitled, crazy and stupid. Yes, that’s me sometimes. I don’t like that about myself and I’m trying to improve myself in this aspect. I told you yesterday, the song bugs me so much because it covers 2 topic that I dislike the most: ” Mothers and moneys”, and today my mother sent me this text. I paid her the interest from the money I owe her. It has nothing to do with love, with happy new year, with I hope you are doing okay, I want you to be happy. It’s all about money. Sadly, I will never be able to receive the kind of love that I always wish for.

I’ve been thinking about the reason why I have to actually write down these train of thoughts so that I can feel satisfied, like I wrote yesterday that I needed to vent out. I think the reason is these thoughts in my mind are like Lego pieces, like a whole big bucket of Lego pieces and I need to stack it together in order to see the entire shape of it. But you know Lego can make different shape, yesterday I made a Fighting Jet, I don’t like it. It’s too aggressive, to judgmental, I sounded like a bitch. I’d like to build a sailing boat, you know, a beautiful white sailing boat that rise with the wind and stop when the wind stops.

So I decided the write again my opinion in a better way, a softer way. The logic that I wrote in my previous post is very clear, I still agree with what I write, my argument is very concrete but I don’t think that it has to be that aggressive. I don’t know the back story, I don’t have enough data about the Vietnamese society, I have no rights to judge.

So I’d like to start this blog with how I think about the writer, when writing the Lyrics, I’m pretty sure the writer writes about himself, his childhood, how he loves his mom. I think his Mom has successfully done her side of the job to raise her son, she’s done it well. Because the result is pretty clear, her son loves her. I’m not in the position to judge whether this kind of love is healthy or not, but he truly cares about her.

The song is successful because it’s a personal story but resonates with the majority of the society, especially someone who’s born and raised at the same time, same generation.

I was angry and frustrated yesterday. That’s for sure, I’m not angry now, because I know why I was angry.

Do you know that the source of Anger is Hope? I was angry because I was hopeful. It sounded so contradictory to each other but it’s true. A simple example to explain this is say You were late to my meeting, and I’m mad at you. I’m mad because I was hopeful/expected that you would be on time, so that after our talk we will have some more time to go to the beach. 🏖 .

So what’s that I’m hopeful about:

1. I was hoping that the society doesn’t see money as something that is so important. Đen is a successful child, so he can shower his mommy with Money, but what about other kids out there, who has lost their jobs in the last year due to Covid. What will they think, and feel when Tet is coming near and they could not give their moms “Dior bag, and just sit there like a Queen” .
2. I was hoping that the mother could grow out of the role ” giving her entire soul, entire life” devoted to raise her child. I would like to see a mother will teach their sons of when is the right time to devote and sacrifice, and when to stop it. What’s the boundary between a good mom to your son, but also a good person to herself
3. I was hoping that the war has ended 47 years ago, the mother don’t have to worry so much about food anymore because this country provides so much surplus we have to sell out. I would like the mothers out there to stop worrying about food altogether and started caring about happiness and love
4. I was also waiting for a shift in the society that love does not equate with punishment. Love is love, care, nurture, teach and protect. So that there will be noone like Vân An, who lives right in the middle of one of the most prestige neighborhood in Saigon and was not protected simply because the society cannot intervene when a mother teach her daughter with “đòn roi” .
5. I also hope that the mothers out there will continue to learn and grow herself, to become a person with hope and dream. An individual that can contribute her idea to the society instead of being a burden to their daughters and sons. I was sad whenever I heard a story that a child has to get married because their parents wanted them too, or a child has to give up their love because their mothers need them.
6. I hope that the child will also share the love with their fathers, because fathers also need love. He just doesn’t know it better because men are taught to be strong, and to be strong mean they cannot cry or show love. If the child know that, the child can break the boundary, and the vicious circle to share the love equally between mother and father.
7. I’m hoping for the children to stop expecting their mom to take care of them for the rest of their lives. If there’s no demands, there will be no supplies. I would want to children to said, Mom, it’s time for you to explore yourself, go learn something and stop cooking for me everyday. I can take care of myself pretty good, your job is finished and a success. Time to invest in yourself.
8. Most importantly, I hope that the mothers out there would let their children grow up to become full grownups not only physically but also emotionally. To become an independent person who can challenge their parents about boundary. I hope that the mothers would let their children go, and fly there wings through the sky without having to look back and returning back to her house like a Boomerang.

I feel that the lyrics should be re-written as the following:

Mang tiền tình yêu về thăm cho má, ba cũng cần tình thương lắm, đừng quên nhé.
Muốn được nghe mẹ mắng mỗi ngày kể về những ngày để con thấy mình còn chưa được khôn ngoan
Về đây mà gầy mập sao cũng được, miễn con vui là mẹ mừng là mẹ cho ăn đòn
“Muốn đối xử mẹ như bà hoàng, để mẹ có thể làm việc mình yêu thích, tìm lại giấc mơ thưở xưa ngồi xơi nước, và mua cho mẹ túi Dior “

That I think that’s what love is. The healthy love of a child who respect their mothers, and vice versa a mother who respect her son’s territory.