Chiang Mai – Semi Lock Down Day 2

The cabinet meeting decided for curfew then finally pull back on it. Only curfew in Bangkok as far as I understand it. More news to come tomorrow.

The town is a bit more empty but otherwise life remains the same, it’s not too bad per se.

I woke up okay, not feeling as heavy as yesterday. I was even wondering how come I sleep so well, my score of sleeping was 76%. Took me 10 minutes to realize because my headache was quite bad, I smoked 2 puff of weed. Works like magic. I still have a bit of a headache, but it’s tolerable.

The heaviness in my chest seems to gets lighter. My general feeling overall is still okay, not as my normal time. But it’s getting better I believe.

I decided to leave the town to go to the mountain for a bit of fresh air. I reckon, during this difficult times, do something I love will make me feel better. Doi Suthep – the highest mountain in Chiang Mai is my destination. I originally was planning to go here awhile ago when my bf planing to visit, but that trip couldn’t come through, so I decided to go now before any full lock down happening. NOT A GOOD IDEA ! I would say. I started to go at 10 AM when it’s started getting hot, the drive is quite difficult for a person who never drove in the mountain area like me. I used to be carried by Landon through on Da Lat trip, but I never drove alone. When I reach the top of the mountain, it was nice, fresh air, lots of birds. That was a brief moment when I feel like, wow, life is not that bad. I was sitting by the resting area, having some strawberries, go to the temple, just to look around. The way down is the problem, it’s quite steep. There I go, puff, one really steep curve. I crasheddddddddd. The fortunate thing was there’s no one around so my crashed was safe. I wore a track pants and a jacket and really good helmet, so no scratches, I just feel hurt on my shoulder.

I went back down to town, the heat during the drive does not exactly help me to get better. My blood pressure is 136/87. Awhile ago, when I went and do a massage, my blood pressure is also about 13/7. I was wondering has it gone up since then or it just now ?

I re-read my blog yesterday just now, I like pretty much how I view my emotions now. I don’t fight it anymore, I like how I describe it so vividly. I’m so glad that I’ve learned how to observe and be at ease with myself. It’s like I feel like, finally I allowed myself to be sad.

I was driving home and thought to myself, about 2 months ago, I was reading about a woman written in China while being locked down. Life turns around, and now it’s my turn to write about life under lockdown and curfew. Funny how life turns around.

I would say, my effort to love myself today comes to a fail. But I love how I started to know how to take care of myself emotionally. I was never taught to deal with my emotions. I was just self learned , and of course in a very bad way. Until I meet my teacher, his words stay with me: ” It’s difficult when you are sad, just do what you love, love yourself. Emotions come and go, don’t fight it, welcome it like a long lost friend” . And I did this time, wholeheartedly. Not to brag, but I think I have grown tremendously.

I called the Vietnamese Embassy today, asking for the possibility of flying home in the next 3 weeks. They said that for now, there’s no news yet. I also asked about the paperwork for visa extension, he said I need to send a letter to the Embassy, but it’s gonna be taken care of. They charge 720 baht for such service. I don’t know what’s the charge are for but okay. I will try to email and ask for the form then send the money.

My Mom called me today, she asked me to gave her my address and my passport information, so that if something happen to me, she will know where to find me. We agreed that it’s really best that I stayed put and see how things progress. Staying where I am at the moment seems to be the safest option for me. I didn’t tell her about the Hypertension though, not to add much to her worrisome.

I can still feel my heart poundings. I will try to sleep even earlier today to see how it will change my body.