Chiangmai lockdown day 12 , saigon cách ly xã hội ngày thứ 3

Something strange today, at 6:00 AM during my sleep time, I was in a very deep sleep mode.

Suddenly I woke up and all I did was to send a text message to my partner saying I miss him very much.

It wasn’t scripted, or planned. I felt like it was my subconscious yell it out. I don’t remember much about it, I don’t even recall what was in a dream or did I dream of him. I don’t even recall opening my eyes to text.

I kept thinking about it. It’s not right to call it an “impulsive” action. Because the word impulsive usually prefer to a negative action. In contrast, it’s a message of love, a message of pure love in my point of view. Maybe my nightmare was not because I was worried about myself, but because I was worried that I couldn’t be able to see him anymore? There’s a fairly high chance that the pandemic gonna go big in this country and I was worried that I will no longer be able to come back and see him? So worried that my unconsciousness has to send the message out when I’m deep in my sleep.

I was worried that I can no longer come back and hug him, like I can no longer do so with my father. Perhaps, this helps explaining my increase in nightmare where I feel like I’m pretty left behind. And my constant wake up in the middle of the night.

My schedule change again according to my mental capacity. Around this time 2 or 3 PM I can think clearer and write better. I can’t no longer write at 9:00 PM, I felt like my body has turned to total shut down. Strange eh ? When there’s no rigid schedule, I can listen to my body better, and choose the schedule accordingly.

I don’t want to post any numbers or any Covid related information today. It seems like the world is filled with sad news. I decided to update the number once every 4 days just so that later on in life I can look back and understand what has happened.

Instead, I would like to write a better kind of poetry. Well the one that I know how to write better. I would like to end my blog post today with a high notes 🙂 .

The Guests

We fell asleep in one world, and woke up in another.

Suddenly Disney is out of magic,
Paris is no longer romantic,
New York doesn’t stand up anymore,
the Chinese wall is no longer a fortress,
and Mecca is empty.

Hugs & kisses suddenly become weapons, and not visiting parents & friends becomes an act of love.

Suddenly we realize that power, beauty & money are worthless, and can’t get you the oxygen you’re fighting for. The world continues its life without the human in it and it is beautiful.

I think it’s sending us a message:”You are not necessary. The air, earth, water and sky without you are fine. When you come back, remember that you are my guests. Not my masters.”