“You are like a tank! Once you set your eyes at a certain goal, you will drive toward it without any consideration of anything” said Tim – one of my old friends.

This statement came into my mind today because 1 thing happened. I told my Mom that I will fix the front door and change it to a wooden one. Her first reaction was to stop me. My next almost immediate reaction was to fight right back and her and tell her to be on the side. I will not tolerate anyone who stop me from getting what I want. Long story short, she can’t stop me. The information that I’m giving her is an announcement, I wasn’t looking for support nor approval.

This is why I’m perceived as “strong, stubborn, hard headed“. In a male dominated society like Vietnam, strong is a very negative word when referring to a woman. Deeply ingrained in the Vietnamese men’s mind, women are supposed to be dependent. Women are supposed to listen. Women are shallow thinker.

When a woman who’s trained to be independent and determined, that woman is “irresponsible, irrelevant, unacceptable”. That’s how misogynistic this society is. Sometimes I have this urge to straighten the mind of those women, who thinks they don’t deserve better. Woman, among themselves, also look down on each other. For example, my mom will use the word ” tính đàn bà” to describe an ugly soul. All I wanted to say is: Mom, you are basically look down on yourself.

Therefore, I’m struggling everyday in this society. A society that is embracing misogynist. The more people try to conform me, the more I want to break out.

to be continued