I am falling into the same circle once again, the circle in which I’m running away from a place I supposed to call home. Since the beginning of this year, when I gave up my apartment in Bangkok and then in Phuket, I don’t really have a place of my own.

Moments like this make me feel so lonely, so unloved, so helpless. Actually, I feel so lonely living in this city, it’s always me against the world. Like tonight, I ran up to my room, packed, and came to another room, just by myself. I think I’m falling into self-pity mode. I want to cry it all out, but crying does not bring anyone here with me. I think I’m destined to be alone for the rest of my life.

Right now, I wish that I can took the first flight out of here, to another place where nobody can bully me or being aggressive of me.

I used to say: “I don’t like aggressive ppl” , actually it’s more like I’m afraid of aggressive ppl. Even just a small raise for tone of voice, or even through text messages, I can feel it.

I’m so tired of looking at other’s people face to live, it’s a hard job to do. I want love, peace, and happiness. I want comfort and affection.

If only Thor is here, the one who never get angry at me, and is always by my side, loving me with all his heart.