It’s the 6th day of the New Year today, I’m doing something very different for the first time. I started writing my blog in the early hour just before my Yoga Class.

I just did my morning routine, from making my Ginseng tea to boil some water for Cinnamon tea. This routine will be finished off with one hour hardcore yoga that I’ve been pursuing. I’m getting stronger everyday, just about over 2 months ago, after one session, I felt like I was going to die. For the first week, after each session, I immediately passed out. ThesSo e days, I don’t count numbers/ time, and after each session I can spend some time meditating. It’s really awesome.

Something strange happened this morning, I just opened my eyes and my mind immediately drove me to Eoin, and I wanted to say I miss you to him. It’s so strange, really strange. Eoin has never been in my mind, well randomly sometimes, but not the kind of I miss you thingy. I met him when I was very much committed to a relationship, I think I still am committed to a “non-relationship” with Camel. Yet, without any interaction, without any action, suddenly I want to say I miss you. I did, I told him so. It’s very easy to talk to Eoin, I enjoyed our friendship a lot. I have a tendency to see all males as friends, that’s why the concept of cheating doesn’t exist in my language as all other males are my friends except my only mates.

I have always perceived Eoin as my close friends, someone can talk about voodoo stuff with me. And then, one day, maybe around 2 months ago, he said he likes me, and how he would want to spend the day with me blah blah … I didn’t respond, I was and still am was full of Camel. Another mystery of the mind and the heart, I kept on and on thinking about Camel whereas I found absolutely no reason to do so. I think the only term can explain my behaviour is I’m a real hopeless romatics. I’ve been plagued by romaticism so much that love I believe can conquer them all.

Yet, I thought of Eoin today, as soon as I opened my eyes. That’s strange from my usual behavior of hopeless love. Today I go to somewhere that the door is welcome and open instead of the usual closed door that sometimes I think is an extreme dead-end.

I am smart, I can learn almost anything, I can perform if I want to. Yet, in the relationship area, I struggled everyday as if I’m a child, in this area, I’m a toddler still learning how to walk the walk and talk the talk.

I will need to talk to myself to discuss about how my matured self can teach my emotional self to love the right way.