Well to be precise, I’m a perfectionist for my products. Everything sell outside needs to be perfect. I decided to throw away one stash of mango ice cream because it’s not good enough, but one of my staff decided to continue selling it despite my order. When I found out this afternoon, I was in rage. I was so angry, I used strong language and determined to find out who’s doesn’t listen to my request.

That moment, I realize how strict and perfection I want to be when it comes to product making. Everything else goes second, in my small factory, we are operating under the one philosophy: “QUALITY trumps QUANTITY” . If something is not perfect, it will never make it way out of the door. This is the reason why I’m raging this afternoon after finding out one of the “faulty product is out”. I was thinking to myself, when needed, I’m able to express my anger and make a stand. How come I couldn’t do that with my mother, or any member of the family.

My 2 split personalities is so distinctively different, that I sometimes very surprised. One thing interesting about this though, when I was in rage today, I was able to aware and realize when I’m in rage. I was able to breathe, and observe my rage. I love it, the process of realizing my emotion happens when it happen. It’s ridiculously awesome. I feel like I achieve something today, something from within. This is the kind of growth that I want. You know since my logical self is so high up, and my emotional self is so little.

I went to a special singing bowl class today. Finally, somebody can tell me what’s the real singing bowl, the energy and the material look lie. I am so interested into being a healer using singing bowl. I know I can do it, because I am already so much in love with this tool. Now that I know the magic from it, I’d love to learn more and practice more.

While learning in class the whole day today ( except during lunch that I go back to the factory to make ice cream), I thought of Camel. He’s so good in observing me. I think he knows me better than I know myself, or before I know myself. I kept remembering the one sentence he said: ” Trong tất cả những việc mình làm, việc giỏi nhất là đi học”. Noone ever said that to me, and I never realize that, but it’s so true. I mean in the midst of the busy time like now, nothing can pull me away from the store, except going to classes. Only class and learning can pull my mind away.

My teacher while examining me today has found out that my “cơ hoành” and “cơ liên sườn” on the left side is crooked, I think the word he’s using is co rút toàn thân. He asked me if I was ever have pneumonia, or suyễn, or viêm phế quản. I never did, but this also reminds me of Camel. He continuously made an observation awhile ago that my breathing is very tiring and heavy, and it almost like I don’t have long breath. I never notice this until he told me, it became particularly clear when I practice Yoga and see the left side is struggle so much. And how my breath is very tiring.

See, I told you, Camel knows me better than I am. He made exceptional observations. And his statement stay with me, from times to times, when the situation or confirmation comes the sayings suddenly appear. To me, he’s like a theorist, I mean until proven, the theory stay with me 🙂