It’s official, Saigon has been under lockdown for 1 month. I feel like 1 month has passed like dust sweep under the rug. I don’t know if I had told you about this or not that lock down or no lockdown, I still do the same. My Yoga teacher told me that my life has turned upside down, you know actually I don’t really have a life? I hardly remember what my life used to be, the last thing I can recall was my days with Camel. I still had flashback of images of him in my head. I still believe that we had some kind of very deep connection, that no matter what he kept on being on my mind.

I stumbled upon my last quote 5 years ago

Some people dream big
Some people dream wealth
… and some people dream little small bit of peace 🙂

This picture was taken while we were crossing the bridge, taking some water before heading out to the mountains. When I found this, this quote vibrate to me so much. Turn out I haven’t changed one bit. I still am the same pushing for small places and small things.

I was born lucky, extremely lucky. I was born out of poverty but growing up in wealth, so I’m not stuck with those mundane goals like: ” Buy a house, have a car” . I had houses, and I had a car, I had fancy bikes, and I sold it all. I don’t have houses anymore, I don’t own a car, and I don’t need it. I still am the same, I dream little small bit of peace. Actually I was able to have peace I’ve finally found my freedom from cô Việt. I can rent my own apartment and I have my own space my sacred space. It took me a while to have it in places, but it’s slowly getting in shape. You know I don’t really have a wish to loan any apartment I would like to rent so that I can move around whenever I want to.

I am worried for Bliss. Bliss needs a better leader than me, I don’t have ambitions. I don’t really have the goal, for startup the leader should have ambition like I’m going to sell this company for 10 million, or I’m going to make 5 million by end of this year. I don’t have it, I actually don’t have anything. I don’t have a goal, nor a target, the thought of running a company that make $5 million a year makes me tired. I don’t want to operate a company that makes that much of money.

I truly am worried for Bliss, because I’m not that kind of leader. Right now it’s a ship without a captain. Bliss needs a CEO, a COO and a CFO. I’m just a QC person. I let my emotions gets the best of me from time to time.

You know I’m “tư duy” by emotions.

I forgot to mention, the other day, I made the worst night mare, I burned 10 kg of sugar, you know the sugar that is as hot as 600 degree? I burned my hand ( not so bad) , but burned everything else. In the event like this, I became extremely calm, and I just stood there to watch the thing that was happening.

I realize it’s a big event, but also not big. Because I didn’t mention it in the blog post, as if it’s not important.

I haven’t changed one bit

I still am a hopeless romantic, I still love Camel to be honest. I don’t know how we could get back together, but I just love him, despite whatever.

I still love small things, and I don’t love life

I still look down so much on money and whoever really attached to money ( cô Việt)

It seems like I have always been this smart.

It’s a curse, also a blessing.