I was re-reading my post this morning, it was like wow, it’s full of sadness, tiresome, and struggle. I have told one of my therapist before, the person I’m portraying on this blog somehow is very disconnected to the person I’m showing the the world. I mean I’m not faking myself in any sense, I’m a happy, blobbly, funny person but I’m also a very tired person. I’m still trying to find the in between to make sense of all of this mess.

Turn out, we can eliminate migrane/ stress by adding more stress. I went to work super exhausted today, and I still find the energy to work, to carry stuff up and down. We receive a new packaging today, and it’s a total disaster. It’s too big, the material is really bad, it won’t fit in our carton. There’s no lid. I mean, it’s a total disaster. I have to quickly find a solution to make this mess go away. I did, we will receive the next batch in 11 days, which mean I have to find a solution for the next 11 days. 😀 . And my migrane goes away just like that.

I’m still exhausted though, I got home at around 8 PM, and I was finding myself lying straight to bed. I mean litterally crash onto bed with full clothing. If it’s not because I need to write another diary today, I would have go straight to sleep till morning.

So here goes today’s work:

Did you mention anything negative to someone today?
About daily work, about my migraine, about my exhaustion: No.
My Aunt called me today though, she wanted to talk and share about life. So we talked a bit, I mentioned to her that I have been pondering an idea about how to proceed with my mother. I feel like I’m taking the active role, and if I’m not doing anything, nothing’s gonna happen. We also talked about how light my life is right now without my mother’s shadow. I’m not sure it’s negative, for sure it’s a negative subject, but not exactly sure it’s a negative thing though.

Write down the positive thing that you can talk to that someone in order to make them feel better about themselves and others around?
I mentioned to my aunt today that she loved the person she was, the scars, the addiction. It made her who she is, and I don’t think she could have done better. I think I will need to reinforce this message that she has done something. She didn’t lose, she can still improve like she used to be.

Here’s the list that I can say to myself