Hello from Ha Noi again,

I just checked into the hotel, I’m staying at the same hotel from last time The Q Hotel. I just want to note right here in case I forgot where to stay. I was thinking to myself I went to Ha Noi many many times, like a lot of time. But I still have zero knowledge about how Ha Noi looks like.

For example, I’m staying at 87 Nguyễn Trường Tộ, my workplace in the next couple days is 113 Đào Tấn, I still have no idea. And I don’t know where is the center 😀 . I just notice the first time how massive this bridge is, if I’m not wrong, it’s called Nhật Tân Bridge. And if I’m not wrong, It’s quite near Camel’s house. A thought pop up into my head: I have a feeling that Camel is here in the city right now? That means this is the first time we’d be in his hometown city.

I’ve never been to these areas. Well Ha Noi in my mind is really small, all of my friends are living in the Phố Cổ area, so I don’t really go outside of this area to explore ever before. You know how afraid I am right? Even on the street, a xe ôm guy started talking to me, I’m immediately super afraid. I would pretend that I didn’t hear anything.

I called myself: “Hèn” =)) . I’m really hèn.

Oh I almost passed out in the car going to the airport today. In that brief 30 minutes, I feel like there’s no life left inside me. It happened quite sometimes, there was a time I sat on the taxi going to Airport with Camel. If I’m not wrong, we were in Thailand at that time. He said that a person that is almost passed out like this is truly troublesome. Today I had the exact feeling, I just want to lie down and not continuing to the airpot.

Anh Khoa told me today: ” Khiếm khuyết to lớn nhất của cuộc đời em á, là thiếu đi 1 người mẹ bình thường. Thì cái em có nhiều cái mà người khác ko có, kiểu như lấy cái role của mẹ đi đặt chỗ khác nên em thiếu hình mẫu của 1 người phụ nữa.”

It touched my heart. How come a person can know me so well, better than I know myself.

Oh, in the past 2 times going to airport. I was able to observe my behavior, something tremendous happen. I was able to speak out to the people who’s cutting the line. Last time and this time, I was able to look into their eyes and said: ” Chú đi sau đừng chen lên phía trước” and ” Anh chị đang chen hàng rồi, phiền chị ra đằng sau vì em cũng gấp mà”

I know it sounds so reasonable, and nothing to brag about. But it’s something that’s so out of this word to me. I want to brag about it 😀 . That I finally can speak for the unjust act. This has never happened before, I was never able to say anything. I notice the act, I got angry, but I never speak for my rights. This time, I was able to speak out with a calm voice, and nice.

I mean, this development is marvelous to me. It meant that I was able to healed myself from the heartache that my mother did to me. That I vouch, I will never speak up, and it stuck in me. I was able to overcome that fear.

That means my emotional self has finally evolved. I’m happy. 😊

It’s late, and I need to work hard tomorrow. 😀