It’s been a while now and I still miss the way he said my name.
I didn’t know my bones could ache forever for so long.
My therapist said there’s beauty in sadness and I really hope so.
They didn’t warn me what heartache doesn’t always have someone to blame. Sometimes it’s no one’s fault ( it’s probably all mine).

I found his letter the other day and it still smells like him and that spring we spent telling each other we’d be forever.
I didn’t really think how forever could end.
He used to call me “em yêu” and “darling” and look at me with eyes that meant it. Now I just don’t know how I’m supposed to hear that word from anyone else.

I caught somewhere between moving on and holding and not knowing which one I can handle best.
I feel messy and uneasy and I don’t understand how one person with soft voice can destroy an empire inside me just by walking away.

His lips tasted like air after rain and these days all I do is thinking about they way they felt between my thighs.
My pillow isn’t her and the song in his Spotify isn’t ours. I sit next to a guy but I can’t talk for hours.

Where do I go when a lover and a best friend becomes a memory and a dead end?

I saw him in my dreams more often than not. I woke up and he wasn’t here.

I felt my heart splinter all over again.

I love you 3000.